In the HBR Guide to Coaching Employees, executive coach Ed Batista defines coaching as a style of management characterized by asking questions. With those questions you can move away from command-and-control leadership to a dynamic in which your direct report grows through self-reflection.

Asking the right coaching questions means the difference between a one-way interrogation and a dynamic learning session. Good coaching questions give someone who’s busy and competent the space in which to step back and examine herself. The right question can stop her in her tracks as she finally sees her own actions from a different perspective or envisions a new solution to an old problem. She may indeed learn to question herself so that next time she can catch herself in the act and change her actions in the moment.

Begin by planning out what you’ll ask and get yourself into the right mindset before the coaching session begins.

While there are a lot of coaching questions you can’t directly prepare for ahead of time, many of the ones you’ll ask in the first session are fairly standard, so take time to consider them beforehand.

First think about what you need to know to help your direct report. Your questions in this session will not only help you understand her situation but also can help you to identify her:

• Current developmental level and goals (what she is ready for, what she can handle, what’s the next step in her journey)

• Skill level against leadership competencies and behaviors

• Preferences (e.g. how she processes information or makes decisions – Meyers-Briggs-type categorization)

• Motivations and values

• Habits and structures that might be holding her back

Then think about how you’ll ask your questions. To give your direct report the space to reflect and respond effectively, they should be phrased as open-ended queries. It can be helpful to think about the first word: open-ended questions often begin with “what,” “how,” “who,” “where,” and “when.” (See the sidebar “Open-Ended Coaching Questions.”) Stay away from “why” – it can feel confrontational and judgmental. To get at the same thing, instead ask, “What was your intention with that?”

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